Chapter 10
Arabs
Driving from
New York into Pennsylvania on Interstate 90 we stopped at the first
rest-stop to stretch our legs, get a
snack, and let the dog, Dipstick, do his
thing. The plaza was well lit and quite
modern. In fact the entire plaza was
bathed in light, front and back. The back stretched out a good 50 yards to a
fence. Beyond the fence was acres of
hedge-rows, that could have been corn rows, but it was much too dark to tell
for certain. Nevertheless, thinking that
it would be best to take Dippy for his stroll in the back of the plaza, he and
I headed for the back and could clearly look into the rest stop itself which
was a wall of glass window running the full length of the plaza. Inside I saw a
little old man waving wildly at me, and pounding on the glass. He was obviously trying to get my attention.
Dippy and I looked at him, and then looked at each other and began to head back
the way we had come and the man was following us inside to the door. As we came
to the end of the building, he emerged from the building wildly gesturing to us
completely out of breath saying, “don’t go out there”. I asked him “what’s the
problem”?
And still out of breath he looked at me and said, “It’s
dangerous back there…bad things happen”.
I looked out at the area which was completely lit up and said, “What
kind of things?” He looked at me like I was crazy, and said,” Arabs!”. At this point, I wish I’d had a picture of my
face as I was trying to absorb what he was saying. My mind is racing as I’m trying to process what
I heard. “Arabs!!???” I said.
Arabs!!?”. He then said, “It’s dark out
there”. I looked at him, and then, at
the dog who was looking at me as if he was nuts, and I said, “Well, which is
it, Arabs or the darkness?” He then
threw his hands up in the air with complete exasperation as if I was the crazy
one here and said, “it’s dangerous back there.
I stood there in total amazement at what this guy was all
worked up over. I looked out beyond the
fence at the hedge-rows which stretched out for acres into the darkness and
thought, “this guy has visions of terrorists running through his head”, and
they’re all gathering in a cornfield in Pennsylvania… and he thinks I’m going
to take my dog out beyond the fence and into the hedge-rows in total darkness
where I’ll disappear forever or get captured …by Arabs no less. I had no idea that Arabs had a predisposition
to hanging out in dark hedge-rows off the interstate in Pennsylvania just
waiting for unsuspecting tourists who are walking a dog and decide to climb
over a fence...with the dog, and then wander through acres of darkness. I mean…is that something that’s part of Arab
culture? Do they just sit there and wait, as if anybody is going to actually
say to themselves…I think I’ll climb over a fence with my dog and simply take a
stroll into acres of dark hedge-rows.
Maybe I’ll meet some Arabs. I mean, it’s midnight and I’m just making a
pit stop here, but on second thought, maybe I’ll just jump a fence and explore
acres of dark fields in Bumfuck, Pennsylvania. I’m trying to put together in my
head why Al Qaeda, who I have to assume this guy is referring to (aren’t all
Arabs members of Al Qaeda?), would have any interest in launching a terrorist
attack from some cornfield in Pennsylvania off the interstate. I finally said, “What the fuck are you
talking about man? Why would I even consider taking my dog out beyond the fence
that I have to climb over at midnight into some dark hedge-rows or cornfield or
whatever it is? Does that sound sensible to you? Is that something that you
would do? “Hey honey, go wait in the car. Me and the dog are going to wander
through some cornfield for a while. If we don’t come back it’s because the
Arabs got us”. My dog needs to take a crap and we’re walking right outside this
window and you’re freaking out about Arabs or the dark, or maybe both.” Finally a woman co-worker told the guy, “let
him go and walk his dog”. “Go ahead sir.” “Never mind.”
ARAB’s???; In a cornfield in Pennsylvania? I wonder who he’s voting for?
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